teaching children

“Despite the six thousand manuals on child rearing in bookstores, parenting is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck and, of course, courage. – Bill Cosby, Paternity, 1986

You may not know that if your child’s age range is 8-12, they are called “preteens.” It is the middle age between leaving elementary school and before entering high school. At this age, children have already discovered who their parents are and depend less and less on them to direct their daily lives.

In the first nine years of a child’s life it is effective for parents to yell, punish, spank, pause, and pinch children when they have engaged in unacceptable behaviors to get them to change. That day is behind us and parents must develop new ways to change their children’s “Tween” behaviors. Parents need to educate themselves during each year that their child is developing. There are numerous books written about each developmental year. We all carry books on parenting babies, parenting young children and then start throwing out valuable books and resources for the rest of the years in parenting.

It is important for parents to realize that the discipline we apply to one of our children will not work for each of our children. The only way to achieve being a successful parent is to know each of your children individually and treat / discipline them accordingly.

Being an only child in the family has its pros and cons. For those parents with an only child, it is even more important that you read about their perspective on life. An only child sees problems very differently than if they had siblings in their life. Unless you have grown up as an “only child”, there is no possible way that you can understand your child without reading and without having clear communication with him. An only child is less likely to share their inner thoughts with you or anyone else. When an only child is growing up, he has no siblings to argue with, share toys with siblings, share mom and dad with siblings, etc. Which may mean that you don’t have to discipline this particular child as often. However, it is necessary to teach them to change unacceptable behaviors into acceptable ones.

Come on parents, read and educate yourself about your children and how to make it easier for them to change their behaviors when necessary.

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